February 2010
January 2010
This is how it works You’re young until...
“Did you ask me to video chat just so you could feel like you’re not...”
– Bennett, when I took a sip of wine during our video chat tonight.
Me: Grilled Cheese Truck will be parked at Snake Pit tonight. LADIES NIGHT MIRACLE!!!!
Laura: Um, sorry.. did all my dreams just come true?
I hate the person who invented automatic sensors for lights.
Sorry I don’t move from my desk every 5 mins. That doesn’t make it okay to turn the lights off on me repeatedly during a scary thunderstorm while I’m alone in the office.
Laura: you know i don't mean that to brag - it just means i can be slutty
me: you're allowed to brag
me: i know who to hang with when i want to be a total whoremonster
Laura: FUCK YEAH
“Hanging out with them is like taking relationship birth control.”
– Anonymous. (You know you have couple friends who make you feel the same way.)
I woke up this morning covered in Trader Joe’s Lite Kettle Corn.
I should’ve seen this coming.
Look at the facebook page of someone you think you have a crush on.
Look at their pictures over.
And over.
And look at all of them.
Do you still feel something for that person?
Congrats. You might be human.
Technology is killing romance.
Steps on how to get to a girl
delbertshoopman:
Step one: We can have lots of fun Step two: There’s so much we can do Step three: It’s just you and me Step four: I can give you more Step five: Don’t you know that the time has arrived
Duh…
But why don’t you have a book deal?
“my apartment has never been so clean and i have never been so hairless”
– Anonymous. My friends are on fire right now and cracking me up left & right. Also, out of town guests are STRESSFUL!
Potential karaoke song for this weekend… but...
I want to bathe in new car smell.
Gym
Tan
Laundry
New life plan… Thanks Jersey Shore.
I just found out that Jason Sudeikis is George Wendt’s nephew.
Consider my mind blown.
Apparently it’s now an annual tradition for me to head back to LA from the holidays with a raging head cold.
I guess when you rarely spend loads of time around children, and then play Super Aunt for 9 days straight, you’re bound to pick up a germ or two from them.
So I’m very much looking forward to getting on a plane tomorrow while I feel like there’s someone stomping on...
I'm not usually one to kiss & tell... (at least on...
However, last night I kissed the same guy at midnight that I kissed at midnight for New Year’s 2000.
(No, it’s not the dude pictured below.)
How’s that for coming full-circle? Just call me Bookend McGee.
Queen - Somebody to Love
I’m ok, I’m...
Keep on breaking my heart, Northwestern… I’ll always come back to you. That’s just how much I love you, baby.
Oh, and also:
FUCK AUBURN.
Terrible day in history:
The day creepy dudes realized that, after they ask for your number, they should call your phone from their phone to make sure that you didn’t intentionally give them the wrong one.
Sometimes I question whether evolution is a positive thing.